140.6 - It's Time

132.4

So, yesterday was race day. The big event. What we've all been waiting for. AND...

I did not finish the race. Sigh. I was at mile 18 on the run at 10 pm, which meant I had made it past the final cutoff point of the day. But, with 2 hours left in the race I made the call not to start the final 8 mile loop of the run course.

See, I needed to bang out 8.2 miles in under 2 hours then I would've been home free. But, anyone who's ever done a marathon can tell you that you don't get faster the longer you're out there. Add a 2.4 mile swim and 112 mile bike onto it ... you don't get faster the longer you're out there.

The soles of my feet were covered in blisters, my knees had stiffened up so much I couldn't walk around corners or up inclines without a lot difficulty, and I was slightly nauseous. However, those are tiny complications in an Ironman. I was ready to gut it out and keep going. But. I knew the 17 hr finish wasn't going to happen. I needed 30 extra minutes to get the job done and the time just wasn't there.

When I realized I wasn't going to make it I walked over to a fence and began to cry as if my dog had just died. Two very sweet spectators called out to me, "We've been following you the whole time! You did great!" Of course, that made me cry harder.

For about 5 minutes my disappointment was immense. The usual self-pity started in, telling me that all my hard work for the past 15 hours had been wasted, etc. I was swallowed up by sheer agony.

I saw a quote on a poster out on the course that summed up my feelings about the whole day: "Any accomplishment requires effort. The only thing you can achieve without effort is failure." That gave me a ton of inspiration between miles 7 and 17 becauseI knew I had given every bit of effort I had from the time the cannon boomed out the start of the swim until I leaned up against that fence and crumbled.

I had several small victories. Some are small, like getting out of the swim, dressed, covered in sunscreen and out on the road on my bike in less than 10 minutes. I then made the final bike cutoff with 20 minutes to spare. Remember how I was so worried I wouldn't? I was yukking it up with the spectators. I had a terrific time on the first 8-mile loop of the run course. I had no flats or any technical issues on the bike. I didn't vomit, hurt myself, lose any gear, or trip and fall down. I was physically strong and alert the entire time. I just wasn't fast enough at the very end.

I will try another Ironman; not to banish any demons or to prove anything to the many people who didn't believe I could do this. I will do it again to go claim what is mine. I believe that I showed I have exactly what it takes to do an Ironman. A couple of small adjustments and I'm golden. I will have good memories of the event and the experience.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who supported me on this. The e-mails I got from everyone were fantastic and I appreciated them more than I can say.
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Love to you all,
Stac